You’re probably wondering how I got here (Freeze Edition)
Part 1
By Jessica Freeze, PhD
Where is here?
Well if you want the footnotes, that’s what linkedin is for. In short though, my name is Jessica Freeze, PhD, and I am an AI Research Scientist specializing in the application of artificially intelligent and machine learning methods to problems in chemistry (read: chemical reactions, biology, medicine, green chemistry, materials…). I am now a year out of graduate school, and working in industry in a small business that provides contract research services and drug design software (BMaps).
I’m definitely not dating this first post or anything...but dates and time changing are a part of how we all get to where we are. So, before I dig in, bear with me as I explain a little about who this article is for – or else skip forward by using those ocular muscles.
Intended Audience
This article is for you if you:
Are just starting out in chemistry or science.
Want a potentially entertaining and unvarnished story about becoming a scientist.
Are interested in a path to become a scientist.
Are interested in a path to become an ML/AI researcher.
Want a more up-to-date (2010’s-2020’s) viewpoint on the requirements to become a scientist.
Want to know more about me (Jessica Freeze).
Are curious about being a woman or (straight-appearing) LGBTQ person in science.
This article is NOT for you if you:
Wish to make broad generalizations about all STEM people/fields.
Are looking for a super serious, boiled down piece of reference text.
Want advice for getting into FAANG/MANGA/MAGMA/acronym/acronym...
A Warning: This is going to be narrative. I’ll try to add headings, to help you navigate if you wish to skim.
How I Got Here (Part 1)
“What’s a chemist?”
I was a bit of a hipster...before that was a thing (yes I get the irony). Perhaps it’s common enough for me to assume that everyone has, at some early point in their childhood, been asked what they want to be when they grow up. For me, the first time I remember was in 2nd grade when my teacher told us to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up. Of the limited careers a small child knows at age 7, my obvious first answer would have been a professional singer. I had already been singing in church choir since I was 3, loved it, and sang (in the car, in the hallways, in my head …) whenever I got the chance. Buuuut, I also knew that tons of other kids in my class were going to draw being a singer (it was a pretty music heavy school). For whatever set of values had already constructed itself in my small child head, I knew I wanted to be different.
What. A. Hipster. 😂
In any case, I ended up drawing myself as an artist. I was pretty proud of that picture as it hung in the hallway with the other pictures...which did end up including many singers. But, I’m not an artist now...so what happened?
Well it turned out young me’s desire to be unique hadn’t required any research into what getting a career actually meant. I also didn’t end up clicking with drawing as much as 7 year old me thought I would. Instead I continued in school until 6th grade where again my teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. This time though, we had to do some research into careers using the internet. 6th grade was a pretty big time for science. We learned about the scientific method and regularly had to apply it to there FOSS science kit problems, and I LOVED the FOSS science kits. So it would make sense for me to pick a science based career. By this point in my life, I had already lost two family members to illness. The concept of doctors was certainly something I was very familiar with through pediatrician visits filled with stickers and fun toys in the waiting room, as well as various depictions in Barbie toys, children’s television shows, and one of my favorite shows of the time, Grey’s Anatomy. And...you might be thinking...why did you tell us about the artist anecdote? Well...I was still a hipster in all but name.
So when my teacher asked the class what we wanted to be, and I knew I had an interest in medicine, I also knew many of the other kids did too. I know...don’t judge me too harshly 😂. So as we started researching into different careers, I knew I would be steering clear of the standard doctor/surgeon path. Doing so led me to the interesting worlds of biology and chemistry. As I read through the websites, I had to answer questions like, how many years of schooling or training were required, how much money did the average person in that career make, what did they do day to day, and so on. In that way I whittled down the many options. Most of the biology fields fell off pretty quickly because the salaries I saw didn’t look appealing. Truth be told...the field of biology has changed massively since 2006 and while fields like ecology and environment remain relatively low paying, the more medicine and biotech related fields largely pay well. I also knew I wanted to have a family one day so I wanted to make sure I would have a 9-5 job where I could come home to spend time with them afterwards.
My reading eventually led me to medicinal chemistry. Definitely unique from the eyes of a 6th grader. Beyond unique, it meant I would get to do experiments like the ones I loved so much from class, and it meant I may one day be able to help prevent someone else’s loved ones from dying of illness. Certainly a noble goal, and definitely one I’ve heard shared throughout my years of becoming a scientist by many on the same path. I certainly had never heard of medicinal chemistry before this, but it opened up my eyes to the exciting world of chemistry beyond the little kid experiments of baking soda volcanoes, where I could actually do something that seemed exciting and beneficial to the world.
From my research, it also paid well. In 2006 and at the age of 11, I definitely was not aware of what was to come with the 2008 financial crisis. However, my father had just become the first in his family to complete college a few years prior and took a lot of effort to instill in his kids the importance of getting a well paying job so you could save for retirement and have a comfortable life. I also learned through the project that chemists tend to have three options for their career: academia, industry, or government. Both of my parents worked for aspects of the government, my mother in the post office, and my father in the state health department so I had a sense of the pros and cons of that direction. As the pay went there was a clear academia < government < industry. Certainly, on that merit alone, industry was winning. However, I also had been heavily involved at school and in extra curriculars and volunteering that involved teaching in some capacity since first grade and I definitely enjoyed that aspect, so academia had appeals as well. I admit at the time, I did read about the academic freedom aspect and didn’t quite conceptualize it as particularly valuable. Luckily for the project I just had to detail the differences and select a preference, so I wrote industry knowing I could change my mind later if I wanted.
A Reflective Interlude
First, I want to note my privilege. If you haven’t thought about your own privilege, the series of circumstances and environments you did or did not have anything to do with, I invite you to do so.
To be frank, the fact that I had two parents who are both alive, still together, and love their kids is a huge privilege that granted me stability and a caring environment that, for whatever nitpicks someone could make against it, had a huge affect on minimizing the number of things I had to worry about as a kid. The fact that they prioritized being in the best school district they could, despite impacts that had on maybe not getting the house of their dreams, having slightly longer commutes, and many other factors I’m sure I wasn’t privy to as a kid, meant I had access to generally orderly classrooms filled with learning, and resources, and clubs that filled me with curiosity and a love for learning. These things are privileges and I am incredibly thankful to my parents for them and I hope I can provide the same to my kids one day.
Second, because of those privileges and because of my early interest in school, I got to be a part of initiatives put on to encourage kids and especially girls to fall in love with STEM. Though I’m sure I can’t remember them all, they had a HUGE impact on me. I had plenty of friends growing up, in college, and even adults I talked to about their journeys who tell me they never felt supported in figuring out their careers. I did. And if I can use this as a small PSA, I did because of a lot of volunteered time. Please consider giving some of your time to help inspire the next generation, it can change the course of someone’s entire life.
Next Time On: You’re probably wondering how I got here (Freeze Edition)
Middle School – When people really start noticing you are a female.
High School – You have to plan out the rest of your life. NOW
To Be Continued...
